Critical Reflection on The Role of Peer and Tutor Feedback

During the course of ES1102, I received lots of help from my peers and Brad. Peers and Tutor’s feedback in comments, works’ editing, and even everyday speaking provide me lots of opportunities to imitate. I believe imitation is also a good way of practicing a language, for non-English first language speakers like me. I learned English in a structural manner back in primary school, namely vocabularies, grammars and sentence structures. Thus, imitation is a similar process of learning like what I have done in the past. Even though that peer’s feedback might not be entirely correct, as they are currently in our same English class seeking an improvement in their English proficiency, I was confident that they were better than me. I believe my peers have taken the responsibility to provide responsible and legit feedback.

As I have mentioned at the beginning of this course, I am at the bottleneck of my English learning journey. Each time I write my essays and do in-class activities, I do still felt stuck at my language processing. I have to construct the sentences in my brain for few seconds prior to speaking out or to writing on documents. Therefore at each time I write an assignment, I tend to go through peers and tutor’s feedback thoroughly, tried very hard to break down the elements in their comments and tried hard to apply in my writings. Moreover, I imitate others’ writing by looking at each of their blogs so that my final products could at least be produced at a better quality. After reading through others’ blog posts, I find all their writings are superior to mine in terms of complexity, accuracy and organization. I did feel extremely frustrated about my deteriorating proficiency in English especially during English class.

However, Brad was extremely patient in showing me on how to rectify my silly mistakes each time. His comments and suggestions on the word document were so helpful that I immediately realized my mistakes and be able to finally know what I have been committing so far. Brad’s critical feedback including grammatical errors, contents, essay organization and even citation formats, made me realized how badly I have done but at the same time I know exactly how to improve. I might not be able to score as high as others, but this course has allowed me to realize my mistakes and to correct them before entering the society as a worker. The writing skills and analytic skills where we were repeatedly trained during our class activities, and assignments were extremely helpful in making my expressions clearer. Brad mentioned that I was able to speak normally while making perfect senses, yet my writing has crippled my expression abilities by hindering others to understand my ideas. As the course goes along, I found my writing has become more understandable, and I can better illustrate my ideas. I am grateful for Brad’s detailed teaching, and I earned my most benefits from this course. 

Reader's Response Draft 4

According to the article “The Perils of Over-sharing in Social Networks” by Emm (2014), Internet security has effects on many aspects in our lives. Many people feel uncomfortable about being monitored by authorities. Since the Internet has become an integral part of our lives, this has made us susceptible to threats due to high accessibility of personal data. Emm emphasized that posting on social media has more detrimental effects than simply revealing one’s daily life to others, where such revealing acts sometimes can have detrimental effects that turn against oneself. Furthermore, the author believes that in a corporate context, over-sharing can lead to leakage of business information, thus posing a threat to an organization’s survival and profitability. However, there are several steps that social media users can take to reduce vulnerability to threats where Emm suggested in this article.

Social networks have become the main platforms for many people to interact with each other. Yet there are social problems in relation to social media more influential and more prominent than data security issues, which Emm (2014) did not address. Emm talks about risks of manipulating personal data for those who over-share. Besides the chat function, there are many attractive status sharing functions such as checking-in, tagging and liking, which have been manipulated and exploited for unlawful or undesired purposes. Emm (2014) pointed out, for example, revealing one’s current location in a night club with a group of friends by tagging photos or checking-in locations, or making it known to people that one is not at home. Potential criminals who know about the home locations of such a person might pay a secret visit, resulting in burglaries and even robberies in real life cases. Hong Kong’s Occupy Central movement student protest leader Joshua Wong shared his home location, and later many angry anti-occupation individuals surrounded his home and threatened his mother’s safety. From this, it is inevitable that Internet data can be stored indefinitely and it would be manipulated. Therefore, stressing the urgency and importance of protection on personal data by reducing the information shared.

Over-sharing might also jeopardize work confidentiality and sometimes even reliability. Office workers who share their office views will expose their work place location, structures and layouts, revealing to the public the internal view of offices. This is undesired since many firms are unwilling to impart any impressions other than marketed advertisements to the public. The public might be skeptical about the reliability of a company since sharing photos from a workplace does not seem professional at all. Furthermore, many would end a day’s hard work by uploading a photo with their work desk at the background. Some could be unaware of the stack of files and papers behind, from which certain technologies can easily encode the actual information. Hackers only need small pieces of information to access a company’s databases, thus resulting in leakage of business information. In all, simple actions such as posting online could create unimaginable potential risks, which could be leveraged and resulting in losses. Though the strict Internet access control and protocol of use of technology could effectively curb sharing in work places by implementing a blockade of social networking sites, the seriousness of undesired outcomes by over-sharing still needs to be emphasized, especially in work places.

At the same time, more prominent social problems are found related to over-sharing in social media, which has become a bigger concern of many families. In order to gain recognition of who we are and what we do, many people, especially teenagers, over-share to gain attention from online friends. Greenberg (2013) believes that teens should learn to be in the moment by interacting face-to-face with peers, instead of sharing everything online that could jeopardize their verbal communication skills. If teenagers believe that self-esteem and recognition are gained only by sharing, such wrong world views could lead to potential mental health problems. Klein (2014) pointed out that a girl who committed suicide after getting obsessed with taking selfies, and also cases where increasing number of teenagers engage in drug use and violence. These cases reflect the consequences of oversharing on the Internet, and subsequent intake of information without any guidance and filter. Greenberg (2013) also discovered that online social platforms are exclusive places for users themselves that they have very limited opportunities to interact with others. Over-reliance as a result of over-sharing on online platforms might gradually transform users to become socially awkward since they become used to sharing information online instead of in real life.

In all, the author provides an insight of dangers arise from over-sharing. Besides personal and corporate data risks, the society should also be more aware of detrimental social problems that could harm everyone who uses social networks.

References

Emm, D. (2014). The perils of over-sharing in social networks. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/david-emm/the-perils-of-over-sharing-in-social-networks_b_5005276.html.

Greenberg, B. (2013, June 20). 8 Problems with Teens and Social Media. Huffingtonpost.com. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/barbara-greenberg/8-problems-with-teens-social-media_b_3472816.html

Klein, S. (2014, May 7). Is Social Media Dependence A Mental Health Issue? Huffingtonpost.com. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/07/social-media-mental-health_n_5268108.html

Essay Draft 3

Social media has become increasingly important to Japanese teenagers. Popular social media in Japan such as Twitter, mixi, and GRee become major platforms for these teenagers to actively engage in. A white paper published by Ministry of Home Affairs & Communications in 2011 discovered that 71.2 percent of teenagers in Japan use one or more social media platforms. In the same white paper, it shows that 73.7% of social media users use social media for the purpose of searching and communicating with strangers with similar interests. This white paper shows that there is a high proportion of teenage social media users are susceptible to risks of falling into traps set by strangers. Other than communicating with people with similar interests, teenagers also tend to use social media to engage in deeper level communications with acquaintances. As a result of such a high dependency on social networks for communication, Japanese teenagers became more prone to the dangers brought by online predators. The susceptibility of Japanese teenagers against dangers of social media lies in loose regulation of the Internet environment. In addition, further education and warning should be implemented to raise the level of alertness of teenagers.

Teenagers use social media to communicate. Due to the availability of free chat functions on these platforms, the media became sexually tainted. As a result, sex crimes such as compensation dating and rapes arise from over-dependency on social media for communication. In addition to social media, Deai-kei site, or dating web services in English, have not been regulated so as to protect teenage users. Within the process of chatting with strangers online, some teenagers are convinced to reveal their personal information and to meet these strangers. According to Inoue (2010), there are more than 1000 teenage victims each year in Japan that government regulations have to be implemented to reduce this tragic number. There have been strict institutional enforcement of usage and social media users monitoring. The root of the problem lies in the insufficiency of education on risks of social media as well as floppy attitude towards underage sex.

Law and regulation enforcement against social media usage should be implemented especially for teenagers. One way to do so is to implement registration by real names and particulars in social media sites where free-chat functions are allowed. If users register themselves with real particulars, law enforcement bodies such as police and the Ministry of Home Affairs & Communication can track down any inappropriate conversations in preventing criminal activities against teenagers. In addition, users with particulars registered will allow monitoring bodies to ensure that the internet environment is safe for teenagers. Social media sites are being used for dating purposes in many cases, and victims usually are unaware of the risks they might face. Implementing such regulations can at least bring any offenders to justice and can at least rescue the victim before anything worse could happen. However, the setback of this system is that individuals can use fake particulars to register online for SNS services. Tracking might also be difficult when users register with fake addresses or other people’s addresses. A higher level of security can also be suggested by requiring parents’ or guardians’ information such as their driver’s license numbers or credit card numbers. There will always be loopholes in monitoring online activities, and there will be criticisms on privacy intrusions. For a safer internet environment for teenagers, such measures are necessary to a large extent. 

The Chinese government monitors its internet contents extensively in fear of political unrest, and Japan could use the same method in warning teenage users against potential dangers. In China, websites, instant messaging services such as QQ and WeChat, and online forums have been closely monitored by the government. When there are sensitive keywords such as money, remittance, or political words appearing in the content, the system automatically detects the keyword and warn users against potential threats. If this system is being introduced in Japan across all social media and phone applications, teenagers could be warned against potential sex crimes. Inoue(2010) pointed out that there was a case of a victim aged 16 years old being asked to send nude photos of herself to a stranger in exchange for in-game coins for popular application GRee in Okayama Prefecture, violating the law of child pornography prohibition. Such conversation exchange should have been brought down before the dignity of the girl was ruined by such a pervert. Although the West will heavily criticize that such strict control of the internet is violating the spirit of freedom, the act of exploitation of freedom by suspicious ones must be curbed. 

Even though hard measures are being implemented, the root of the social media susceptibility occur in teenagers lies in education. School and parental education on Japanese teenagers can focus on risks of using social media sites, with emphasis on how to identify hints or invitations to these activities. There is a need to alert teenage users that social media sites contain more risks behind communicating only, and education on prevention of leakage of personal information is necessary as well. Information-technology and Promotion Agency in Japan has warned teenage users on how to prevent risks, such as not revealing personal information and set higher security level. The agencies also provide support in case of tragedy happens. Although there are education on the national level, but parental and school levels are insufficient. In Japan, third-party organizations which promote SNS safety are active outside campus, but the penetration rate amongst students may be a big question mark.

Furthermore, there is insufficient education on correct attitudes towards sex. Many Japanese teenagers consider that it is normal and acceptable to be engaged in sexual activities at their age. Suzui et al. (2006) found that 77.2% of high school girls view sexual activities being acceptable. If teenagers do not treasure their bodies and safety, sex seekers will have a greater chance in preying upon them. Teenagers need to know that the casualness of sex will lead to greater problems such as law breaking, sexually transmitted diseases, and pregnancies. All in all, there should be a greater level of education at a closer life proximity with teenagers.

In conclusion, regulations and educations should work together in order to compensate the shortcoming of each other with regard to reducing the danger of social media usage by teenagers. While government regulation and monitoring can reduce new cases of teenage sex crimes, education from young can instill a sense or alertness at a massive scale that future or existing social media users will know how to protect themselves against the dangers presented by sex predators.

[1101 words]

References

Inoue, O. (2010, December 8). SNS wo nayamasu Deai kei mondai no Shinen, Hi-deaikei no higai jidosu wa saiaku suijun he [Abyss of troubles from SNS dating services, child victims numbers from non-dating websites increased to worst levels]. Nikkei Keizai News. Retrieved from http://www.nikkei.com/article/DGXZZO19323130T01C10A2000000/

Ministry of Home Affairs & Communications. (2011). Sosyaru media no riyoujyouhou: Heisei 23 nen ban, jyouhou tsushinhakusho [Usage on social media, white paper 2011 version] Ministry of Home Affairs & Communications Japan. Retrieved from http://www.soumu.go.jp/johotsusintokei/whitepaper/ja/h23/html/nc232310.html

Information-technology and Promotion Agency. (2014). Higai ni attara [In case there is a crime] (2014), Information-technology and Promotion Agency Japan. Retrieved from http://www.ipa.go.jp/security/kokokara/accident/

Suzui, E., & Hiraoka, A. (2006). Attitudes towards Sexuality among High School Students in Japan. 12(2007 89-96), 1-1. Retrieved from http://www.kawasaki-m.ac.jp/soc/mw/journal/en/2007-e12-2/05_suzui.pdf

Problem-Solution Essay Draft 2

Sex crime such as compensation dating, pornography and rapes, these are the most disturbing tragedies that every parent in Japan wish to prevent on their children. 71.2 percent of teenagers (Ministry of Internal Affairs & Communication, 2011) at their tens actively engage in activities on social media platforms. Prominent social media in Japan such as GRee, mixi, Mobage and DeNA, become major platforms for these teenagers to be actively engaged in, as such the risks of crime as result of high degree of usage have come into the spotlight for social concern. In addition to social media, Deai-kei site, or dating web services in English, have not been regulated against teenage users. At the process of chatting with online strangers, teenagers are convinced to meet strangers and thus making them susceptible to threats. There are more than 1000 teenage victims each year in Japan (Nikkei, 2010), which government regulations have to come into effect to reduce this tragic number. However, even though strict institutional enforcement on usage and SNS users monitoring, the root of problems lie at the insufficiency of education on risks of social media as well as attitude towards sex.

Law and regulation enforcement against social media usage should be implemented especially against teenagers. To do so, one way is to implement registration by real-names and particulars in social media sites where they free-chat functions are allowed. For users to be registered with real particulars, law enforcement bodies such as police and Ministry of Home Affairs & Communication can track down any inappropriate conversations involving teenagers and potential sexual activities seekers. In addition it can ensure that an internet environment has been monitored in protecting against teenagers. Social media sites are being used for dating purposes in many cases, and victims usually are unaware of the risks they might face. By implementing such a hard measure can at least bring any offenders into justice, and can at least rescue the victim before anything worse could happen. However, the setback of this system is that individuals can use fake particulars to register online SNS services, particularly in Japan where there isn’t a system of national identity registration. Tracking might also be difficult when users register with fake addresses or other people’s addresses. It might seem impossible to urge Japan to introduce a nationals identity registration system like other countries such as Korea, China and Singapore, yet a higher level of security can be done by requiring information such as driver’s license number or credit card numbers. There will always be loopholes in monitoring online activities, and there will be criticisms on privacy intrusions. Yet for a safer internet environment for teenagers, such measures are necessary to a large extent. 

The Chinese government monitored its internet contents extensively at each words in fear of political unrest, and Japan could use the same method in warning teenage users against potential dangers. In China, websites, instant-messaging services such as QQ and WeChat, and online forums have been closely monitored by the government. When there are sensitive keywords such as money, remittance, political words appear in the content, the system automatically detects the keyword and warn users against potential threats. If social networks could introduce this system in Japan, teenagers could be warned against potential sex crimes. There was a case of a victim aged 16 years old, being asked to send nude photos of herself to a stranger in exchange of in-game coins for popular application GRee, in Okayama Prefecture (Nikkei, 2010), violating the law of child pornography prohibition. Such conversation exchange should have been brought down, before the dignity of the girl being ruined by such pervert. Therefore, although it will be heavily criticized by the west that such strict control on internet is violating the spirit of freedom, yet the act of exploitation of freedom by suspicious ones must be curbed. 

Even though hard measures could have been implemented, the root of SNS susceptibility of teenagers lies in education. School and parental education can focus on risks of using social media sites, with emphasis on how to identify hints or invitations on these activities. There is a need to alert teenage users that social media sites contain more risks behind communicating only, and education on prevention on leakage of personal information is needed as well. Information-technology and Promotion Agency (IPA) has warned teenage users on how to prevent risks, such as not revealing personal information and set higher security level. The agencies also provided support in case of tragedy happens. Yet, there might have been education on the national level, but parental and school level is insufficient. In Japan, third-party organizations which promote SNS safety are active outside campus, but the penetration rate in students may be a big question mark. Furthermore, there is insufficient education on correct attitude towards sex. Many teenagers consider that it is normal and acceptable in engaged in sexual activities at their age, with persons they know or do not know. If teenagers do not treasure their bodies and safety, sex seekers will have greater chance in preying them. Teenagers need to know casualness of sex will lead to greater problems such as law breaking, sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancies. All in all, there should be a greater level on education at a closer life proximity with teenagers. 

In conclusion, hard and soft measures should work together in order to compensate the shortcoming of each other. While hard measures such as government regulation and monitoring can reduce new cases of teenage sex crimes, education from young can instill a sense or alertness at a massive scale that future or existing SNS users will know how to protect themselves against dangers. 

947 words

Reference

Inoue, O. (2010, December 8). ＳＮＳを悩ます「出会い系」問題の深淵　非出会い系の被害児童数は最悪水準へ. Retrieved from http://www.nikkei.com/article/DGXZZO19323130T01C10A2000000/

ソーシャルメディアの利用状況 ： 平成23年版 情報通信白書 [Usage on social media, white paper 2013 version] (2011), Ministry of Home Affairs & Communications (Japan)

被害に遭ったら [In case there is a crime] (2014), Information-technology and Promotion Agency (IPA) (Japan)

The Essay

Compensation dating, child pornography, sexual assaults and monetary frauds, these are the most disturbing tragedies that every parent in Japan wish to prevent on their children. 71.2 percent of teenagers at their tens actively engage in activities on social media platforms. Prominent social media in Japan such as GRee, mixi, Mobage and DeNA, become major platforms for these teenagers to be actively engaged in, as such the risks of crime as result of high degree of usage have come into the spotlight for social concern. Deai-kei site, or dating web services in English, have not been regulated against teenage users. At the process of chatting with online strangers, teenagers are deceived to meet strangers and thus making them susceptible to threats. There are more than 1000 teenage victims each year in Japan, which government regulations have to come into effect to reduce this tragic number. However, even though strict institutional enforcement on usage and SNS users monitoring, the root of problems lie at the insufficiency of education on teenagers on risks of social media, and heavy reliance on social media sites.

Law and regulation enforcement against social media usage should be implemented especially against teenagers. To do so, one way is to implement registration by real-names and particulars in social media sites where they free-chat functions are allowed. For users to be registered with real particulars, law enforcement bodies such as police and Ministry of Home Affairs & Communication can track down any inappropriate conversations involving teenagers and potential sexual activities seekers. In addition it can ensure that an internet environment has been monitored in protecting against teenagers. Social media sites are being used for dating purposes in many cases, and victims usually are unaware of the risks they might face. By implementing such a hard measure can at least bring any offenders into justice, and can at least rescue the victim before anything worse could happen. However, the setback of this system is that individuals can use fake particulars to register online SNS services, particularly in Japan where there isn’t a system of national identity registration. Tracking might also be difficult when users register with fake addresses or other people’s addresses. It might seem impossible to urge Japan to introduce a nationals identity registration system like other countries such as Korea, China and Singapore, yet a higher level of security can be done by requiring information such as driver’s license number or credit card numbers. There will always be loopholes in monitoring online activities, and there will be criticisms on privacy intrusions. Yet for a safer internet environment for teenagers, such measures are necessary to a large extent. 

The Chinese government monitored its internet contents extensively at each words in fear of political unrest, and Japan could use the same method in warning teenage users against potential dangers. In China, websites, instant-messaging services such as QQ and WeChat, and online forums have been closely monitored by the government. When there are sensitive keywords such as money, remittance, political words appear in the content, the system automatically detects the keyword and warn users against potential threats. If social networks could introduce this system in Japan, teenagers could be warned against potential sex crimes and monetary frauds. In-game purchases in popular application GRee have been the most popular target of monetary fraud in teenagers, according to Metropolitan Police Department in 2012. There was a case of a victim aged 16 years old, being asked to send nude photos of herself to a stranger in exchange of in-game coins in Okayama Prefecture (Nikkei, 2010), violating the law of child pornography prohibition. Such conversation exchange should have been brought down, before the dignity of the girl being ruined by such pervert. Therefore, although it will be heavily criticized by the west that such strict control on internet is violating the spirit of freedom, yet the act of exploitation of freedom by suspicious ones must be curbed. 

Even though hard measures could have been implemented, the root of SNS susceptibility of teenagers lies in education. School and parental education can focus on risks of using social media sites, with emphasis on how to identify hints or invitations on these activities. There is a need to alert on teenage users that social media sites contain more risks behind communicating only, and education on prevention on personal information is needed as well. Information-technology and Promotion Agency (IPA) has warned teenage users on how to prevent risks, such as not revealing personal information and set higher security level. The agencies also provided support in case of tragedy happens. Yet, there might have been education on the national level, but parental and school level is insufficient. In Japan, third-party organizations which promote SNS safety are active outside campus, but the penetration rate in students may be a big question mark. Therefore, there should be a greater level on education at a closer life proximity with teenagers. 

In conclusion, hard and soft measures should work together in order to compensate the shortcoming of each other. While hard measures such as government regulation and monitoring can reduce new cases of teenage sex crimes, education from young can instill a sense or alertness at a massive scale that future or existing SNS users will know how to protect themselves against dangers. 


917 words

Reference

ソーシャルメディアの利用状況 ： 平成23年版 情報通信白書 [Usage on social media, white paper 2013 version] (2011), Ministry of Home Affairs & Communications (Japan)

Inoue, O. (2010, December 8). ＳＮＳを悩ます「出会い系」問題の深淵　非出会い系の被害児童数は最悪水準へ. [The deep-rooted problem of Deai-kei that making SNS a mess, Worse level of child victims in non-deai-kei websites] Retrieved from http://www.nikkei.com/article/DGXZZO19323130T01C10A2000000/

被害に遭ったら [In case there is a crime] (2014), Information-technology and Promotion Agency (IPA) (Japan)

Essay Outline

Main problem:  Many Japanese social media sites such as 2-channel, mixi and LINE, colloquially known as deai-kei sites, have been manipulated for dating with compensation, sexual crimes such as child pornography and rape, especially against junior and senior high school girls.

Affected target group/stakeholder: Teenage girls, their safety, guardians, community.

Agent of change/stakeholder: Ministry of Technology, social media corporations, guardians

Solution 1: Enforcements of registration by real-names and particulars in media sites where they free-chat functions.

Evaluation 1: For users to be registered with real names and particulars, law enforcement bodies such as police and ministry of technology can faster track down on people who committed crime, and also to ensure an internet environment has been monitored for safety purposes. Social media sites are being used for dating purposes in many cases, and victims usually are unaware of the risks they might face. Individuals can therefore use fake particulars especially in Japan where there isn’t a system of identity registration of its nationals, even though adults can use driver’s license numbers and credit card information. Tracking might also be difficult when users register with fake addresses or other people’s addresses.

Solution 2: School and parental education on risks of using social media sites, with emphasis on how to identify hints or invitations on these activities. Social media sites contain more risks behind communicating only, and education on prevention on personal information is needed as well.

Implication/Conclusion: Teenagers might be reluctant to comply with since social media sites have become their main tool of communication and many made them their only window to see outside world.

Thesis: Even though strict institutional enforcement on usage and SNS users monitoring, the root of problems lie at the insufficiency of education on teenagers on risks of social media, and heavy reliance on social media sites.

An influential event

I have always been blessed with almost everything. As such, I have taken for granted for many things. But this seemingly privileged illusion came to an end with the life-threatening illness of my mother, which rang a warning bell and woke me up from illusion of blissfulness.

My mother was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, where the tumor can be visually seen by a person and there was a high possibility of being malign. Because of the tumor was so big, I could not stop myself from fearing that the possibility of cancer cells has already shifted to other organs. As suggested by doctors, removal by surgery was the only way of reducing risks to a smaller extent. The surgery was scheduled at about 2 weeks after diagnosing, and its estimated duration was 3 hours. She had a very optimistic mindset, this might seem relieving but in fact this has worsen my fears. The contrast between fears of losing her and her cheerful spirit made me spiral into deep horror. Then, I broke down in tears even before the beginning of her surgery. All I could do, was to sit down and pray.

I expected to see her being pushed out from the theatre after 3 hours. But 5 hours has passed, I started to fidget at the seats, tremendous terror surrounded me so that I couldn't think properly. At one point of time, I even had the impulse to dash into the operating theatre. But I was stopped by my father who was also trying to keep his anxiety in order to comfort me. At last, she was pushed out from the theatre after 6.5 hours. The results were malign, but there were no signs of spreading. Again, I broke down in tears.

My mother has been strong, and her recovery was quick. After her surgery, I have realized that I need to be strong and grateful for everything that I am enjoying, while not forgetting importance of health, filial pieties and the fact that I am blessed.